but the timing is atleast good.
So my Ex-Husband who has visitation but hardly ever uses it; was to care for my son while I was deployed. By law he has to be given first shot. In return for him taking care of our son I was going to return the child support he was paying to me since DS would not be in my care and I would pay him the same amount since DS would need things such as food and a few clothing items.
Well EX-Husband finally got his internship and a job locked in. He is sooooo happy, it is the job of a lifetime he says. This job of a lifetime is from 1pm-10pm Tuesday through Saturday. Our son is in school from 8:30am until 3:05pm, which means My Ex will need extensive daycare.
He got an offer by his friend for FREE daycare...The problem is that there youngest is blocked from school at this point for Violent behavior. This weekend my son was to have a spend over there but right before my ex left him there he started crying because this boy had already kicked him in the throat once, and other things.
My Ex realizes that this offer might not work because our son does not like abusive boy. My Ex plans on just leaving our son there all week since he sees no point in picking him up at 10pm. So basically this family would be raising our son.
This family currently has three children 1 girl and 2 boys in the home, maybe four (not sure if the fourth child was returned to them or still in foster care). They live in a 2 bedroom apartment and the mother has a terminal condition.
***
Well I told my Ex that now that we know how much daycare help he is going to need that I am calling my cousin. I said I prefer and know he would prefer for her to care for our son over the other family.
He texted back a simple. Yes.
I know my Ex, so now I have some things to do.
1. Call my Cousin and tell her want is going on
2. Call the Public School Register
3. Register my son in my cousin's school
4. Complete any paperwork to ease care for my son.
A. School
B. Hospital
C. Copy of Temp Guardian Papers and Orders to Cousin
5. Give Payment Check to My Cousin instead of Ex
My Son is going to live with my cousin and my Ex can visit our son when it works into his schedule. I will be giving my cousin a check that is my Ex's CS payment and will match it or more depending on what they think is necessary. I will need to switch my son over from his current school to the school that my cousin's children attend. And then I will need to pack up the clothes and school supplies I purchased for my son while I was gone so they have those items.
I am sad because I once again could not depend on my ex to put his son's best interest first, but I am extremely thankful that I have my cousin to step in.
Big Changes, I knew it would happen....
August 2nd, 2011 at 02:03 pm
August 2nd, 2011 at 02:08 pm 1312294129
August 2nd, 2011 at 02:19 pm 1312294757
August 2nd, 2011 at 02:42 pm 1312296150
August 2nd, 2011 at 03:39 pm 1312299558
This sounds like a MUCH BETTER situation for your son - I think stability and a loving environment will be critical/crucial to how he handles you're being deployed. I love it when families help one another out.
August 2nd, 2011 at 04:35 pm 1312302941
August 3rd, 2011 at 01:59 am 1312336744
August 3rd, 2011 at 02:08 am 1312337337
I don't quite get how the Ex didn't step up? If he wanted to, he could have taken your son and gone ahead and left him with the abusive boy's family. He realized that wasn't in the best interest of your son and is okay with your cousin. Some men/people WOULD "cut off their nose to spite their face" in this type of instance. Count your blessings. It could have been ALOT worse.
August 3rd, 2011 at 04:09 am 1312344569
August 3rd, 2011 at 11:53 am 1312372416
August 4th, 2011 at 07:58 pm 1312487904
IMO, if he were stepping up to the plate, the bad situation would not have been considered for a single moment. IMO, if he were stepping up the plate, it wouldn't be Little Ms. Mom's responsibility to handle the school transfer, etc. IMO, if he were stepping up to the plate, he would have made an effort to find a good situation for his son.
Informing Little Ms. Mom that he intends to let their son live with a family who aren't parenting their own children well and have a violent child who has previously abused Litte Ms. Mom's son, isn't really a solution. It is a method of putting the responsibility back on Little Ms. Mom.
August 6th, 2011 at 12:49 am 1312591771
August 6th, 2011 at 02:44 pm 1312641868
"By law, he has to be given first shot" means that he wasn't the best in the first place, let alone his friend with mean kids.
I have a mean son, who has an emotional disability. He doesn't kick in the throat, but he is getting better at controlling his actions. To have to worry about the well-being of your child when so far away must be miserable, but you stayed strong and kept in cool control the whole while. Proud parent you must be!!