Yesterday I requested the documents from a divorce lawyer. I finished completing them today. All I need to do is collect the last two years tax statements.
After completing the parenting plan today what do I see that my husband posted on Facebook:
I found this on Facebook
XXXXXXXXXXXX 's kitchen table is a coupon clipping nightmare. really? what great organizational skills you have. now i cant find the gift card for Papa Johns to have a pizza. if it is not one thing it is the next. when will it end. i know when it will end, but if i say it then people will say i am suicidal. and you know how everyone is looking out for everybody but them selves. MIND YOUR OWN F$%^ING BUSINES.
So I did it; I called and made the appointment. I meet with the lawyer on the 6th at 1:30pm.
Last Night I found he posted this on his Facebook:
XXXXXXXXXXXX the new age of me begins tonite.
When I got home his car was in the garage but he was not home and he would not answer his phone. Then later that night when he got home he was mean and was avoiding me. Was thinking he found out about me talking to a lawyer or he was still mad about the spliting of the bills thing, but I am guessing from the post this morning he did not find out about the lawyer because technically he would not have to deal with me, thus is frustration with me would have ended.
I am really shaky about starting this but I dont think I have much of a choice, after he came home from the last long term out of state job he had anger issues and this round they seem worse so I need to get out and get out now.
On a financial front I have two checks to clear before I can close the joint checking account. Then that leave the house, truck and his car in both our names.
I also called and left a message with a realtor I would like to use about calling me so that I can list our house. I plan to move any of my and my sons extra things into my grandmothers basement to clear out the house for listing. I am planning a rummage sale for the 17th but depending on how it goes with the realtor I might skip it and just plan a rummage sale for later.
Archive for March, 2010
Yesterday I requested the documents from a divorce lawyer. I finished completing them today. All I need to do is collect the last two years tax statements.
I showed my husband the spreadsheet I have made to split out our bills.
I has a collumn with our bills and the average amount, then a column with a space for the actual amount and columns for both him and me so we can track who paid what and how much.
Anyway he is not happy. His complaint is that I listed his Child Support payments under him only. I put his car gas, repairs under him and the dental for his daughter under him. Under my I listed the landline phone and the newspaper and my car gas and my car repairs.
I figured it would be easier to just pay our own car gas and oil changes and repairs rather than trying to split that. Is this wrong? How would you do it if you had to split bills?
I figured the child support for his two daughter should come out of his paycheck, They are not my Children and so I am not sure why he would thinks I would do okay with splitting his child support? Is it not his responciblity to make enough money to pay his child support, or as his wife as I suppose to be paying half his child support payments in addition to spliting the bills of our son together.
Help I need to know am I wrong, should I be paying the child support to his two children (pre-marriage).
*** Edit*** We have been married for 8 years, prior to this (ME as the primary income provider) I was paying the majority of his child support or he was paying his child support and nothing to our family how ever you want to look at it.
I was looking over a real estate magazine this weekend.
I wanted to see if I could find some houses to compare to our so I could get a rough guess of the value.
I was thinking and hoping for $209K since we decided to sell. My husband swears the value is $259K. After looking at the magazine I think we are actually closer to 199K. I would really like 209K but I think 199K is probubly much more likely.
Sadly I am not going to want to hear what my husband says to the realtor when she says 199K or lower since he is so sure the house is worth 259K and going to sell within days.
Me I was thinking 209K and possibly taking months. I just wanted it sold before August.
We will see once we list. I want to have the house in listing condition before we contact the realtor but of course my husband is antzy so as soon as the broken countertop is replaced we will call.
Okay Correction I will call.
Well My husband had a fit again this morning wondering when I was going to call a realtor. So I told him not until the countertop is installed.
His answer was I had Thursday off last week why didnt I do it then. I did not say a word. Last Thursday for one the Tax rebate had not been deposited yet, Plus he was donating plasma and with friends. He is the one home during the day so he needs to be with to make sure I dont make an appointment that will not work for him. I also really dont want to list the house before all the odds and end little touch ups are done but he is getting mad because the to do list keeps getting longer. Actually it is not getting longer it is just that he is not making any progress on them. I would do them but then he gets mad.
Oh did I say I spent thursday cleaning the house and getting things ready for the rummage sale. So I was working on things that need to be done to sell the house but no good girl points for me.
I was planning a Rummage Sale the 28-29 of May but with him wanting the Realtor here already I am going to need to try to hold one earlier which leaves me with three options. Yes over the next 3 Months or 12 weeks I only have 3 weekends were I dont work or have some commitment. I am thinking of holding one on Saturday next weekend and then depending on how that goes the next free weekend I have which is a month later.
I need to sell some of the things we have cluttering up the house before we try to list the house. Also the door in the hallway is still not up because We just ordered it.
I started putting together my online ad, I will post it later I just wanted to get it started. I also printed off some papers I want to use to make some Sale Signs to post on our street and on the house.
I will need to get Cash, I will need to find the grocery bags I have hidden all around the house and find some boxes for stuff that would be better boxed. I also should remind myself to keep the newspaper for packing glass items.
My little boy sounds like a frog, he does not have a fever and only started having a cough this morning so we need to take him into the dr tonight after school. This evening I think we will be knocking out ordering the countertop.
My husband went to job service today and hopefully will figure out what he wants to do soon. I was hoping he would go in and talk to his old employer about getting his part time job back at least until something else comes along but so far other things have come up of course.
Yesterday the hubster went to a construction job fair. Yeah??? He claims he is so handy yet for the basement we had to have a handyman come in and finish because he got too stressed out trying to do simple things. I could have done the work but it upset him to watch me do it becuase he should be capable.
He had a few people at the job fair say they would call next week, BUT the problem is it is out of town work, which means added daycare costs and he would need to be responsible for his hotel room and food. Also depending on how often he could return here would depend on if he blew the whole paycheck on junk before he could pay his bills and a split of the household bills...Can you tell I am not to excited about this idea.
Last week he applied at a old employeer (so little retraining required), and he called them today and basically they said no thank you; you have to have a flexable schedule and we were looking at Mon-Fri 9-5 to minimize Daycare. Plus my husband said point blank he was NOT working nights a month or so ago. After this I told him that working opposite my shift might work so that we would need no daycare, but he did not want to go there since he did not think he could sleep if our son was being loud. Also it is a all nights or all days thing we cant plan daycare willy nilly, so not sure IF they would even go for that.
So he plans to visit job service next week and see what they have that is mon-fri 9-5 and maybe in the mean time take a part time job he has last year working 5pm-9pm. I figure the part time job is a good start until something better comes along or if something better doesn't come along it is a building point. Plus it meets the absolute miniumim requirements he needs to bring in to be able to split bills 50/50.
I want use to split bills 50/50 so that he can learn to pay bills and be a contributing member to this family after being underemployed for years.
The drama to continue.....
The truck starts, told Hubby to let it run then turn it off and restart it to check if it is the silonoid. He says it is fine.
I have my fingers crossed BUT I am going to load up the back with the leftover sheetrock scraps and the wood that is garbage and finish cleaning up the rest of the basement.
Now that we have a working truck I am going to have to keep an eye out for deals on river rock so we can finish the border around the house. (Free or cheap is good for me)
Hopefully hubby can figure out an easy way to get rid of the large rock/boulders that are in in yard. I want them removed and am willing to rent a bobcat but hubby doesnt like that idea because he would have to load the rocks into the truck then take the bobcat with to unload them. (Sorry it is not that difficult to drive a bobcat off a trailer then unhook a trailer then use bobcat, hook up trailer then load bobcat); it is not like I am asking him to move them by hand.
As for the large boulder I need to find someone with a jack hammer, hubby says you cant rent one because it has to have a generater to run it. I guess I figured they made gas ones or at least rented them. We will see.
Also now that the truck is running hubby needs to take his car in to be looked at, he says it is making straige noises having to do with wheels. I hope it is not too spendy as I was going to start having us split bills on the 1st of May and I am not sure if he is going to go for paying for the repair all by himself. I was planning on having repairs for the truck split but repairs to our own cars being the responsibility of the driver.
I do not see the point in spending the time and money putting a cheap short life battery in a car or truck.
We bought a truck 3 years ago, to which the seller proudly proclaimed the battery was put in less than a year ago. So silly us when we had battery problems that first winter 6 months later we took it back to the battery company and had it looked at and they said the battery was fine just a little low...Fast forward to now.
DH is going to go in today to buy a REAL battery. The NEW battery the prior owner installed was the lowest of the line, the guy that tried to charge the battery said that he was surprised it lasted 4 years like it did since it is a 2 year battery. Yes 2 years, I did not even know they made 2 year batteries.
So instead of spending $40 to put in another 2 year battery we are spending an extra $30 and getting a POWER battery that has a 6 year warrenty.
Now the top of the line battery is $104 and normally I would buy top of the line BUT we are planning on selling our house this summer and once the house is sold and we are moved into the Apartment we will have no need for the truck and will be selling it (So yes we could save $30 and put in the cheapy battery BUT It sucked all these battery issues since we thought we had a NEW battery so I am not do that to someone else). Besides I want the Amps on the bigger/better battery until we are done using it.
Well, after the hubster tried to poly the door we got to replace the one upstairs it got white specks in spots (this was with a 4 day dry time). So I have given up. I know at this rate it will take a month to get this door up.
My husband is super busying playing Xbox 360 so to have one side of a door have 2 coats of stain and one coat of poly it has taken 10 days, it still needs the sides and the back done.
I called the place that provided the doors to the builder and am having one prestained. I will then have our handy man come back put in the knob hole, install the knob and put in the hinge holes and hinges and hang it. Two weeks from now my special order door will be DONE!! $80 for the door I just ordered
I am waiting for them to call me back with information so that I can order some siding, when the sprinkler system guy put in the system he got too close to the siding and melted two pieces and the corner piece. I need to have the handy man come over and tell me how many pieces total he thinks we will need to order.
Truck, needs a new starter...Hubster was planning on getting a used one, and installing it himself. Went to see if it would start at all and nothing. So he went to the battery place.
The battery was so low that the battery place is going to try to charge it and then they will test it tommorrow after they see IF they can charge it.
Battery or not IT needs a new starter, there is a problem with the sioloniod on the starter (it is one piece with the starter on this model and not seperate) that allows the vehicle to restart after the vehicle is warm. Anyway now my husband thinks it is just the battery; I HATE this (cuss word here) truck.
Anyway either we will be paying for a battery and a starter. Or a battery now and a starter later. But that is tomorrow.
We need to have the truck running in two weeks time so we can pick up the door and also have it to use for other jobs we need to get done to get the house ready for sell.
I should have just called the repair shop and had them tow it in and fix it BUT I thought it would be easier to do once the hubster was home; but I forgot how EVERYTHING is an arguement over who is right with him and that he takes 5X longer than most people to get around to doing something and 10X longer than most people to finishing it.
On a Positive note..A old friend looked me up and they are so workout crazy that it has motivated me to get off my duff and yesterday I got a workout in (6 mile walk in my reebok tone fit shoes). And this morning I took my diet pills. I need to lose 20 pounds my June 1st I should lose 40 pounds but need to lose 20 for work.
The hubster called and his daughter is in town and she wants him to take her out to dinner. He wanted ideas on where to take her, something not expensive but at the same time enjoyable for her age. It is nice now that he has his own spending money because he is alot more aware of his spending and he is trying to make it last. So that is smile worthy.
Well been out of town for two evenings so far. Before I left I sat down with the husband and told him what he would need to pay, nothing major just his child support payments and sending lunch money for our son. Everything else is on autopayment out of my checking account.
So he is going to get a little taste of paying bills and buying groceries etc.
Not sure how long I will be out of town. We are at a very nice hotel, my only complaint is that this hotel has the worst insolation. Every night at like midnight the people upstairs come in. We can here them walking to the window to turn on the heat then back to the bathroom then back to the bed; then the second one enters the room and goes to the window/bed then to the bathroom and back to the bed.
They are not stomping but they sure are walking heavy heeled. Nothing like having stomp stomp stomp awaken you out of sleep and then having to wait like a half hour for them to stop walking around so we can go back to sleep.
I am currently on the 7am until 7pm shift, as of Monday I will probubly be switching to 7pm until 7am which will be a pain since my roomie is one at 7am until 7pm and will be staying that shift.
I cant wait to get home after this to see how the husband handled the bills and get everything finally totally seperated. Depending on if his checks come in he might have to do some transfering from one account to another so it should be a good learning experience for him.
PLUS he is having to be fulltime daddy and housekeeper only thing to make it better would be if he had to work also (then he would know what my life is like).
I will post if I can later.
Well last night the contractor came to get all his tools out of our basement and remove the extra sheetrock and mud (we sold him).
It is so nice to have that done, of course there are still little fixes here and there and clean up. I also came across more stuff that needs to be returned. We bought a bunch of tape and painting paper. I need to return the unopened stuff.
I have learned that we cant save it for use later. What ends up happening is we save it, then cant find it when we are ready for it, then end up buying more; then of course find the stuff we had saved.
Soon I will be able to go through stuff and put it back where it belongs. My plan for what was my sons playroom is to put his boxed up books in the closet in that room and then use the rest of the closet for rummage sale stuff.
I need to vaccum the rug in that room then I will set up half as a playroom and half as Mommys get ready for rummage sale space. This will work because he gets lonely, if I am spending time in the room getting stuff tagged than put into boxes/totes until the sale it is win win. I also plan on trying to list stuff online until the sale in May. Those online item I plan to put in the office closet.
I am planning to hold a sale the first weekend after school lets out. Friday May 28th is the first day of no school, and then Saturday the 29th. This will then give me Sunday and Monday (Memorial day) to clean up/relax.
These days also overlap with the weekend my husband will be out of town for his concert.
I would like to have it earlier but you can NEVER tell with the weather and I would like to do it after school is out for the summer.
Worst case if I have everything ready and we sell the house before that; I can always have a rummage sale at my grandmothers house that weekend. The stuff will just get taken to my grandmothers house and I will put it in her(unfinished) basement.
My transfer from Savings went through today. Okay it is in a pending status but online it shows it available for useage.
Paid the contractor, came in under budget $400 because he gave us a quote then said he would take off some if we helped with some things. Well we did then he bought some supplies Out of Pocket and we had some supplies left over that we cant return that he is taking off our hands so in the end we came in under budget AND dont have to figure out what to do with all the left over sheetrock and mud which he bought from us.
The best part was that because of it coming under budget that much the savings transfer amount was almost perfect. I can actually use the money from todays paycheck that was going to be the difference between the transfer and the cost to apply to the new countertops.
Was talking to the contractor and he said some things to me that got me thinking and so I relaid those things to my husband (without saying they came from contractor) that will result in much LESS work for him and a much faster finish. Did this to prevent the whole bruised ego thing whenever the contractor suggests stuff, so contractor tells me; then I tell my husband I googled it or someone ELSE said something and then he goes for it with no hurt ego.
The contractors opinion matched mine but I was just going to let my husband do his thing but the contractor saying the doors really did not need another cost of poly is going to save days of work for the hubster.
The Hubster mentioned that before he goes out of town for the concert in May, we need to order a replacement tent pole.
Long Story Short He broke the tent pole on another concert trip about two years ago. So he better believe it is coming out of the money I have already saved for him for the trip. It will not be coming out of household funds.
He told me that weekend he has to go down a day early, he plans to take a tour of the campus that he wants to attend this September.
He talked of applying for work at the place he worked back in 2003. The reason is if he is hired here; then moves there, there is a chance they would transfer him and he would then have a job right away without having to locate one once he is settled in.
Depending on when and what kind of hours he works will determine what kind of daycare we need and if our son will be going to the free half day summer school program or not.
Whatever happens we will see, I just have to sit and wait.