I asked Bf when he was planning on paying the water bill due on the first and he had totally spaced it.

So tonight he filled out the bills and the forms for bill pay for water/garbage and for autopay and balanced billing on the Elec/Gas.

So now it is a done deal....No worries. The Cable bill is paid in advance so when he gets the first bill it will be for two months...Besides that it is in his name already and It is not a "Bad Bill" because if he does not pay then it does not fall back on me, it is sent to collections in his name only.

I think the problem with the bills is he has all his other bills auto withdrawn so he just is not used to actually mailing in bills.

Now that we set up the bills I feel so much better, I no longer feel like a sugar mama...Once I get back from deployment I am planning on having him install the landline phone back....Since it is a non-mortgage/House insurance bill I will have him pick up the tab for it and then we can be content with his household expenses contributions. Basically I will be covering $980 per month and he will be covering $300-350.

A room in town rents for $350, so that is not a bad deal for him and since I am the one that benefits from the homeownership, having him pick up the utilites is cool for me.

My BF was injured at work a while back, then when he was physically able to return to work his boss had gaven BF's job to the bosses nephew. So basically he was getting back on his feet when we met. So now after all this time he is finally got an Emergency Fund. So now that the bills are finally locked in...I am not upset it took so long. I am glad he has an emergency fund, so no harm no foul.

Last week I had drill, it was crazy long.

Monday got up at 5:30am we got to bed at 3:30am the following morning.

Tuesday up at 6:30am we got home at 6pm. I had stuff to get done so bed at 10pm.

Wednesday up at 5:30am we got home at 10:30pm.

Thursday up at 5:30 dismissed at 6:30pm.

Friday up at 5:30 dismissed at 6:00pm.

Saturday worked 9am-11am.

There were issues with food and scheduling so on top of lack of sleep I was also very hungry Monday and Tuesday.

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But while on vacation I got my two doctor appointments done. My glasses came in last week but due to the hours I worked I could not pick them up. I will be picking them up tonight.

I have to repack a few bags since I took stuff out to sew. I need to find my matching padlocks then I plan to bring it in to work.

I was suppose to be all packed Friday but then they gave us full-timers an excuse since we will actually need our stuff between now and when we leave where as the other will not need them.

I got the utilites switched over to my BF's name. He will be paying the utilities while I am gone. The first bill is due on the 31 (city water) and he has yet to pay it. I just printed off the auto bill pay forms from the website so he can set up autopay out of his checking if he wants.

I am a bit concerned, IF he does not pay then the utilities will get turned off. Kinda hard to live with turned off utilities. In my state IF the renter does not pay the landlord is responsible BUT I will not be around to pay them so if he does not pay them then the company can just turn them off until he remembers to pay. I guess the fact that he is waiting this close to the bill being due to pay it bothers me. I like to pay a bill that I do not have on autopay right away or go online and schedule a payment as soon as I get a bill so I do not forget.

When we had talked in the past he came off as liking timely bills, but now that we are at that point I am not seeing it. In fact I am seeing the opposite.

He himmed and hawed about rent. First it was he had to finish off the Student loan that went to collections while he was on workers comp then unemployed (had 5 payments of 25% of his take home). Then he could not get out of his contract with his landlord (landlord did not want to relist it)...Not sure if I believe that because there is a housing shortage in town. BUT maybe he did not want to bother to follow up to prove the landlord rerented the apartment, and take him to small claims court.

Anyway, months went by and May became June (oops 5 payments not 4 to SL) and then June became July. Well now it is August and He has YET to pay me the $525 (his old rent amount) but now says $600 (half bills) per month he was going to pay for rent.

It is August and I said I would prefer him to pay the utilities and then him put the difference into a savings account so that if repairs come up he has the funds and then when I get home the leftover can be used to pay for some of the house repair projects we have planned (Deck, Patio, Shed).

I don't want to have to deal with odd deductions for utilities out of my checking account while I am deployed and I don't want to have to figure out how to handle him paying rent then paying him back if he has to repairs etc.

He says the Cable company double billed him and so he told them to eat the bill...Instead of working through it. Well it went to collections and he had to pay off that bill before they would allow him to take over responsibilty of the account.

When we called the ELEC/GAS company he also had an outstanding bill for his appartment. Since it was less that $20 they just added it to the new bill. It was $10 plus $0.11 late fee.

When we called the water bill people there was no issue , and that he can pull his name off the bill at any time. Yep, except for him needing water there is no incentive for him to actually pay the bill.

===

Not sure what to do...I feel like a Sugar Mama again. I realize there is not much extra cost with him living here (a bit more AC and a bit more Water) and he was picking up the tab for the majority of the groceries but why tell me he is going to pay rent if he does not want to.


I need to call the AC people and have them look at my furnance, I think the overflow container is full.

I also need to make an appointment to have a broken window fixed.

I also need to call my sprinkler guy. BF installed a fence and three posts from the end (Middle of yard) he punctured the sprinkler line. He went to Menards and Lowes to look for a repair kit and could not find one and has yet to go to a hardware store. So I think I am just going to call the sprinkler guy and pay to have him do the repair.

The fence is not done, it is functional but it needs a bit of fine touches...He was planning on putting a top around it. And some area where the panels did not meet filler boards need to be added I guess if necessary if he never gets to it I could just cut down the posts and put caps on them and be done. He spent $1000 on matterials.

Yes that was nice, we have a nice almost functional fence (need to figure out a lock for the gate (keeps openning unless you put lots of heavy rocks on the one side). Also there is only a gate on one side the other is not done yet.

We needed a fence for his dog. It was not an expense I NEEDED so I don't feel like the fence makes up for not following through on the rent promise. Also he said he was going to get a special door that attaches to the sliding glass door so that his dog could come and go as she pleased. I am certain he said he ordered it, well it did not come with the fence matterial and then he said he had to order it....Still not here so I am guessing he never ordered it.

Just wanted to say THANK YOU!!

Sometimes when you are in a situation you can go on autopilot. Doing what you have always done or doing something the way you have always done it because that is what you know. Sometimes you need someone outside the issue to say "Hay have you tried this".

So to all the bloggers here on SavingAdvice, I want to say thanks for being there, being our sounding board and offering us many different way to look at a situation and many different options that we might have overlooked.


PS. I am off to start my Vacation...
Day 1. Pool Party
Day 2. Recover from Pool Party
Day 3. RELAX

I hope to get the following things done.
Get School situation ironed out for DS.
Get Packed (Myself and DS)
Get Utilities Transfered
DR Appt
Eye Dr Appt
AND
A Photo taken of DS and Me
(Last family photo was Nov 2006 ish)

So today my cousin and I went to drop off the paperwork to request a school transfer, so my son can go to the same school as his two cousin's which he will be living with while I am deployed.

I do not understand my town at all. It is like pulling teeth. I completed the form with the required data, then my cousin provided proof of residency. She had to submit a copy of her mortgage and her water bill (2 proofs of residency). Seriously, wow what if someone lives with their relatives and does not have any housing bills in their name due to bad credit or something.

So once again they told us that the NEW school that my cousin's two children go to have not accepted ANY transfer requests since the school openned. Seriously, why is it that a student can live within a school boundry but can't go to that school. The lady said they might allow it since it is only for one year, on the condition that my son goes back to his current school next year.

Well it is up to them IF they allow my son back into his Current school next year, so this could get interesting. I wonder if I should submit the transfer request paperwork for next year as part of this years transfer request. My son's teacher (school's Assistant Vice-principle) was hoping he could stay in his current school because they have not accepted transfer requests for years ALSO. But this was when the plan was for DS to stay with his father whom had NO children so it was not a case of dropping kids off at two different schools at different ends of town with the same start and end times.

I can see it now that if our transfer request gets approved my son is going to go to this new school for one year, then next year it is going to be pulling teeth to try to get him back into his old school, and if it is disproved he is going to have to go to a different school. I hope it works out because if they send him to a school besides his current when I am back they are going to have to bus him home....Hum the school district can either add another student to the school or pay to bus him from a different school to the house since the school district provides free busing.

It was almost lunch time by the time I headed back to the office and so I stopped by subway and got a $5 footlong. I think I am going to do that for dinner also. I don't want to cook and every evening BF and I are drilling and putting in 5 fence posts. We figure 5 is a good number since it is not too long. Less time in the Sun and heat. Less time so we don't over due it and get sore, and it gives the posts time to cure.

2 days until DS's Birthday party. I am thinking about buying a cooler. I want one that fits 2 liter's I figure later the cooler will come in handy for fishing and or camping, so I might spend the money to have the cooler for the party.

but the timing is atleast good.

So my Ex-Husband who has visitation but hardly ever uses it; was to care for my son while I was deployed. By law he has to be given first shot. In return for him taking care of our son I was going to return the child support he was paying to me since DS would not be in my care and I would pay him the same amount since DS would need things such as food and a few clothing items.

Well EX-Husband finally got his internship and a job locked in. He is sooooo happy, it is the job of a lifetime he says. This job of a lifetime is from 1pm-10pm Tuesday through Saturday. Our son is in school from 8:30am until 3:05pm, which means My Ex will need extensive daycare.

He got an offer by his friend for FREE daycare...The problem is that there youngest is blocked from school at this point for Violent behavior. This weekend my son was to have a spend over there but right before my ex left him there he started crying because this boy had already kicked him in the throat once, and other things.

My Ex realizes that this offer might not work because our son does not like abusive boy. My Ex plans on just leaving our son there all week since he sees no point in picking him up at 10pm. So basically this family would be raising our son.

This family currently has three children 1 girl and 2 boys in the home, maybe four (not sure if the fourth child was returned to them or still in foster care). They live in a 2 bedroom apartment and the mother has a terminal condition.

***
Well I told my Ex that now that we know how much daycare help he is going to need that I am calling my cousin. I said I prefer and know he would prefer for her to care for our son over the other family.

He texted back a simple. Yes.

I know my Ex, so now I have some things to do.

1. Call my Cousin and tell her want is going on
2. Call the Public School Register
3. Register my son in my cousin's school
4. Complete any paperwork to ease care for my son.
A. School
B. Hospital
C. Copy of Temp Guardian Papers and Orders to Cousin
5. Give Payment Check to My Cousin instead of Ex

My Son is going to live with my cousin and my Ex can visit our son when it works into his schedule. I will be giving my cousin a check that is my Ex's CS payment and will match it or more depending on what they think is necessary. I will need to switch my son over from his current school to the school that my cousin's children attend. And then I will need to pack up the clothes and school supplies I purchased for my son while I was gone so they have those items.

I am sad because I once again could not depend on my ex to put his son's best interest first, but I am extremely thankful that I have my cousin to step in.

On Friday we went to my Grandmothers house to pick up the furnature. After we got there and I showed BF what I wanted to take; we ended up with just the bedroom set.

I was not going to push it because I did not want him to make a second trip (gas $). I would have liked some of the other items, but he was right and we really did not NEED them. Also they would have created clutter. He basically asked me if I was willing to get rid of something at the house in order to put the furnature where I was planning on putting them.

When we got home and were unloading the truck, he looked over and saw that the window was broken. I believe a rock got thrown into the window by the new lawnmower which was set to side discharge instead of mulching or bagging like we normally did. He says that a kid must have thrown a ball throw it.

I don't care if he broke the window with the mower, it would have been an accident. But if some kid was in our yard throwing rocks at our window that is trasspassing and vandilism (crimes).

I found a rock inside the room and the rock was broken like it had been hit by the mower blade, also the rock had grass stains on it. I looked at the mower blade and there is a chunk out of it, also there is a paint chip on the new mower by the deflector.

He saw some of the balls my son had in the playroom, and said the ball must have done it. Because of the size of the hole. Well the problem with that is the window is double pane and the ball does not fit between the gap of the two windows. Meaning the rock hit and the hole became bigger but not big enough for the ball to travel through both holes.

We got in a big fight over the word "Crime". I said it was a crime, if someone throw a ball or rock through the window, and he wanted to argue the fact intent vs accident. I wanted to stop arguing over the use of the word crime and just drop it, but he saying he was in law enforcement for 10 years and that someone throwing a rock or ball through a window isn't a crime.

Anyway...Thinking about it now the best thing would have been for me to just hold my tongue. This is why I am not going to discuss it anymore and he can continue to think my kiddo throw a ball through the window even though a ball will not fit through the two holes in the double pain glass. The hit was at an angle.

(*Edit- I wanted to explain what I mean by hold my tongue. At the point where we both were getting defensive and we were fighting over something stupid (the definition of the word Crime), I should have took a step back and realized this was getting out of hand and no good was coming out of it and I should have just let us both calm down instead of trying to keep adding fuel to the fire. Because at this point it was about who was right and nothing about fixing the window).

I came out of the house and in my frustration of trying to get him to listen to my reasoning, I called him by my Ex-Husbands name. I guess in the many times I have done that he has caught on twice.

I get upset and when I feel like I am not being listened to, I call people by my Ex-Husband's name. It does not matter their gender either...You really get me worked up and that name pops out.

****
So the question is: I keep calling people my Ex-Husbands name when I get really upset. Is there anything I can do about? Please note that my Ex-Husband HAS the same name as my son. I call my son his real name, and I call my ex the more adult version of the name which we switched my Ex to once our son was born so the names were some what different.

My Ex-Husband is a Jerk, he is lazy, so it is really an un-intended insalt to call someone by his name. What can I do to make it better. I feel like even though BF says "this is a new day" he is still acting hurt.

Another problem is I need to pay to get the window fixed, it seems like anything to do with fixing that window just opens up the wound. I have never fixed a window before, It is not the slider so I figure I need to call a window guy to come replace it. He suggested ordering it and then hiring lowes to install it. Why would I have Lowe's install a window I purchased elsewhere.