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Bought Shoes and Talked with BF

February 24th, 2011 at 06:58 am

So last night I realized I needed to start the look out for new running shoes as they no longer make the style number I have. Mine are old and when I run in them my arches start to ache within like 3 minutes.

I have been putting this off for a while. I went online and checked about five different sites. They all had the shoes listed for $84.99. But then I checked kohl's. The good news was I got Free shipping and there was a coupon code online for 30% off. Plus Kohl's sale price was $5 cheaper. So I saved $30 a pair. Yes, I bought two pairs because after taxes and everything they were $55 each. Which was too much of a deal to pass up.

Yes, you are might be thinking what is she thinking, buying two pairs of shoes instead of just one. Well the reason for it is....I need one pair now. And if I doing my math right this pair will wear out about half way through my deployment. I am worried that I will either break, lose, or have this one pair stolen and so I want a spare pair at home. I also have never shopped online and dealt with APO shipping so I figured it would be easier to buy them now and then if I need them before I come home for R&R then I can have BF ship them, instead of possibly having to pay jacked up prices because of the possibility of the cheapest provider not being APO friendly.

I talked to BF again about the fact I am broke. He let me cry and told me he understands and has been in my shoes and it is just going to take time to get back on our feet. He gave no ideas, no oh honey but I am going to pay the water bill, nope just yak yak yak about how it will all work out it time, it is just not been very long since my divorce and I just need to relax and let things settle into a pattern.

I knew I needed gas in my car, I need to pay my son's $24 dental bill and my water/waste bill is coming due soon. So this morning I took the gas that I purchased for the snowblower that does not use a oil mix and put it in my car. When I started the car it was nearly on E, oops thought I had a bit more. I now have almost a half tank of gas. I don't know if we will need to use the snowblower again or if it is just going to be shovel weather, and the tank is also the mower one (the grass is still covered in snow so don't need the gas for that yet, so I figured I would use it up).

I know when BF and I sorta talked about him moving in (did not talk about exact finances) anyway he said he would not stand for 2 Rosters in the hen house. Meaning EX could not stay there if he was. Well I am planning to tell him that I NEED to let the parasite live there while I am deployed because I can't afford the financial ramifications if he does not. I hope BF can deal with that. I know it will not be ideal BUT what does he expect for $225 a month rent (which he has not started paying). Yes, it will be ackward for everyone at first, but either everyone will get used to it or I guess BF will move out once he has saved enough money from leaving in my home to either rent an house that will allow a dog or have saved up for a down payment.

I think BF is a good guy, and I would hope he would be able to deal with the situation but in the end.

Not having my Ex live in the house while I am deployed will cost me.
$319.90 Child Support I am paid
$717 Child Support I would have to pay
Child Deduction 2012 taxes
Head of Household 2012 taxes
20% co pay of medical insurance instead of Full coverage
$250 Seperation Pay per month
Yep sure adds up fast.

I feel bad that BF is going to have to put up with my EX living in the basement in one of the spare bedrooms but I can't justify the financial losses.

6 Responses to “Bought Shoes and Talked with BF”

  1. North Georgia Gal Says:

    You really need to talk to BF about the financial issues. It doesn't seem to me that he is being very supportive. I went through the same thing with my ex husband. I would cry and tell him what was going on. He would say the same things your BF is saying, but in the end, I ended up paying everything anyway. He claimed that it cost him as much as he made to get back/forth to work and couldn't see the lunacy behind that. This will fester and blow up if you don't talk to him and tell him you need more than his reassurances. You need him to contribute.

  2. Apprentice Bliss Hunter Says:

    1 North Georgia Gal.

    I obviously don't know anybody involved here but:

    1. I think BF needs to realize he's joining a family (you and your son). You will be sharing love, emotional support, physicality etc. You will also be sharing a Home. Home = Bills. He will HAVE to pay at least his way if not more than his way. To be honest, the fact that he isn't doing so already is a bit of a warning sign. Be careful he doesn't trade his Mom in for you - i.e. expecting you to take care of him - pay the bills of his living space.

    2. I don't know how much more enlightened people in America are compared to here in Ireland - but moving new BF in while Ex-BF is in the house is just crazy. Plain and simple. Asking for trouble. How many opportunities will that give Ex-BF to taunt or get under the skin of new-BF while you are away. BAD idea in my humble opinion - only my opinion - I could be wrong. There is no way on God's green earth I would move into my GF's house if her Ex was still there. It's disrespectful to both men involved. Are there no other options/solutions ?

  3. JoAnn Says:

    Do you really want your son to be in the middle of a conflict if the two men don't get along? I agree with Apprentise's take on the situation.

  4. LittleMsMom Says:

    A co-worker suggested I just pay the rent on an apartment for my son and my EX-Husband to live in once my Ex-Husband moves back from out of state, instead of having my Ex-Husband and my son (I have full custody) live in my house. But it just seems like a unnecassary expense when they should just learn to get along.

    I have a two level, four bedroom, 3 bathroom home. Two bedrooms and one bathroom are downstairs. I guess I am not being logical. I figure the laundry is in the basement and the kitchen is upstairs BUT other than that my BF and my EX-Husband will be on seperate floors.

    I just don't know what to do...Maybe I should post the whole long story.

  5. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    So if exDH has custody of your child somewhere other than your house, you have to pay child support? Why wouldn't you have to pay him even if he is living in your house? Or are you counting on him just agreeing to that?

    Given that in your previous blog entry you said you were afraid exDH would tear up your house in some kind of retributional acting out due to the frustrations of the responsibilities of actually taking care of his child----given that---How about you keep your child in your formal custody, but hire someone to take care of the little one in THEIR house. Then, tell your BF to go back to his own apartment whose lease he cannot get out of any way and tell your exDH to find his own apartment.

    Keep your own house unoccupied, intact, and not consuming huge utilities while your are gone. Let your child go in to the care of someone who will do it for $1000 per month ("$319.90 Child Support I am paid; $717 Child Support I would have to pay if exDH has custody). That way your child is with someone who you don't suspect will rip you off, someone who is not looking to freeload. And you will not lose your advantageous tax situation.

    Do you have a relative who might be interested in child care for $1000/month? A trustable friend? Someone from a worship community? Heck, your situation inspires me to wish I could do it and I don't even know you or your kid, so someone who knows you might wish to help.

  6. LittleMsMom Says:


    I have full custody, I don't think my EX-Husband would bother to go to court to be awarded custody IF he got to live rent free in my house for the year while I was gone.

    He is lazy, that I why I think he would just bother with the paperwork. Maybe I am totally missunderstanding the situation but if I am the one providing a home, clothing, medical and dental for my child and just not physically there (But my BF is) am I not by law still proving near 100% of my sons basic needs.

    If I deploy and my EX is not able or willing to take my son then my Cousin is granted guardianship of my son. But if my son lives with her than he would change schools and his current school has a great military support program.

    I just wish I could see into the future and know what was best for my son.

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