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Archive for April, 2010

What is a evidentiary affidavit?

April 30th, 2010 at 01:40 pm

Heard back from the lawyer, I think Yahoo has a lag. Anyway she is out of the office now. She emailed me back at 11am, but I was working on a project and so I did not check it until too late in the afternoon. She is probubly in court.

About 10 minutes ago WE signed everything BUT the evidentiary affidavit.

Not sure if we both needs to sign the Evidentiary Affidavit or just me or just the lawyer BUT I think I have to sign it from email traffic from my lawyer. Not really sure what the heck a evidentiary affidavit is either?

Okay the bad NEWS; not unexpected but still. Any corrections to the first draft (suppose to be perfect first try) get charged above the base $1000 plus filing $85 rate. It is a $250 per hour charge.

I had to have one rewrite of the original document AND the child support numbers had to be rerun plus rewritten into the Document TWICE because Military pay is TRICKY....Well Military pay for Part time Soldiers is even Trickier thus having to rerun STBX's income twice. Oh well I dont think running the child support numbers twice could have taken more than 30 minutes total. But who knows and they probubly have a charged in 15 minute incrament rule. I need to relook at the bill rate thing they sent me...I hope I made a copy of it before I sent it back to them signed.

Now I just have to hope and pray that everything makes it through the court system WITHOUT having to be rewritten again. I do not do well with $250 per hour add ons when I have no idea how much time is being spent.

I guess I will keep you posted on the cost of my suppose to be $1085.00 Divorce. Everywhere you go I always read that a divorce cost more than you plan so I guess I just hope it is not too much more than $1085.00.

Monday I will be turning in the signed papers, so everything should be ready to filed then.

Final Revision finished

April 30th, 2010 at 09:36 am


I am SO Nervous....Nothing to be nervous about but I am none the less.

I recieved the corrected paperwork from the lawyer, it was in my email last night IF I had checked it once I got home, I could have gotten it back to her last night so she would have known first thing this morning. Oh well this works too.

STBX needed 2009 tax return for FAFSA, so I got the printed for him. I have been going through documents we will need such as tax return and dependant document (Birth Certificates and SS Cards) and printing two copies and getting them gathered up. I really did not want to give the tax return to him now because I have a feeling he will lose it but oh well I can always make another copy later.

So STBX reviewed the most recent revision and says that it is fine, He still is mystified by how the Child Support calculater works (I have no idea how it works either) I wish the form said okay subtract this from this then multiply that number using the percent in chart 123 table 8. But of course it does not. Why make it so everyone can understand it. I think if Custodal and Non-Custodal parents could go through the whole math of it then there would be less Child Support is screwing me additude. But since the papers were correct I email my lawyer back saying the papers were good and asked what the next step is.

I think it is pay her $500, they mail the documents to us or I pick them up and then return them to them, then pay $85 and they file them. Depending on what time they are printed I will either pick them up or have them mailed. If it is after 3pm then I will need to have them mail them. If they are ready after 3pm nothing is going to be able to be done with them until Monday.

Email back first draft of divorce papers

April 29th, 2010 at 07:22 am

I sent back the first draft of the divorce papers. I will need to call the laywer and ask again about the payment.

I just do not want the process slowed down because they are waiting for payment...They have my CC Number and I just want them to use it if that is what is needed to keep the ball rolling.

I have the option of going down to pick up the papers and present them to STBX or to have them mailed and I think I am going to go down and get them. I want to make sure I have signed everywhere I need to sign before I hand them over to him for signature. Plus it cuts a day or 2 of the wait depending on time and date of them being done.

Yesterday he asked if he could have "Someones" look over the papers once they are done, I think he was asking if I thought they would do it. I said he could try asking; then he brought up the name of someone who he actually knows. I told him I would PREFER if he had her look them over before we resubmit them back to the lawyer and he said never mind. I offered twice and he said just send it back.

I really hope now he just signs them when the time comes...If we have another rewrite I have a feeling I am going to be paying $250 per hour for the modification. I am going to be a little miffed then because it would have been no extra cost IF he would have just done it before like I offered.

I guess it is wait and see....Today if the final draft is done and picked up then $500 Spent.

The morning gets BETTER.

April 28th, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I got the first draft of my divorce documents.

I say first draft because I needed to make a few changes, I am having the STBX look them over to make sure there is nothing in them he wants changed.

One big point was they messed up the Child Support Amount. I was like WOW when I saw the amount, but then I turned the page and was like WTF when I saw what they had as his per month net pay.

I went to the states website and ran the correct numbers. The amount is the exact same as what StepDaughter#2 Mother gets. The original number was almost double that amount. I told STBX the amount correct amount and of course he flipped out.

I told him we have options, I could either pay him for watching our son this summmer like I originally said I would, and since it is basically double dipping having him pay for Child Support AND half the household bills until he moves we could make an arrangement of one applying to the other. Also I said I am not sure that the CS is automatic or if we have to contact them, and They are always so slow anyway...If we dont do anything it might not happen until School starts (his income jumps once school starts). That calmed him down.

I want the paperwork done, I have no problem letting him mooch off me until School starts because it is best for Our little boy to get to spend time with his daddy and it does help me. Basically I look at it like hiring a nanny.

Man that would be AWESOME if we could get this all ironed out today and emailed back to the lawyer.

I am reading the documents and I think in our state since it is uncontested all that has to be done after it is signed is for it to be entered into record. That would be FREAKEN awesome if this could be done FAST!

Great Morning....

April 28th, 2010 at 08:26 am

Today I stepped on the scale and stood there, sent a little prayer up above. Yeah when weight loss means job security for you and your son you bother god with little things like weight loss.

I looked down and 173.8 Wahoooo that is .8 above what I was when I was measured for work in Febrary. I am down 7.4 pounds since Friday, I also know this is not just water weight as I am always feel it when I lose weight in my back by my ribs.

I stepped off the scale and redid it because I wanted to MAKE Sure. Since I am .8 from my first goal, I am not sure if my next goal will be weight loss, inch loss, or body fat percentage loss. If we do not get weighed/taped at work this weekend than come monday morning I will get taped so that I can figure out what the next goal is.

Last night I Purchased another box of benefiber drink mix, this I think is so much better than pushing down fiber pills as #1 is helps with the water consummed, and #2 I hate pushing down fiber pills. I did not have a coupon for the benefiber, I lost my coupon organizers and could not find anything online. I am spending between $2 and $2.33 without coupon per day on benefiber to loss this weight. BUT since I lost 2 pounds yesterday SOOOO worth the $1 a pound.

I was able to find some coupons online after I got home from the purchase and I have two computer so I was able to print 4. My STBX has two computer that work, so I am hoping he will get the second one (needs a moniter) set up and I might be able to get four more coupons. One coupon lasts for 3 days worth of diet.

I was talking with a coworker, she is having someone remove some river rock from her yard, That person is also removing some from another persons home.

Well I am going to get the rock from BOTH for free and the person is delivering it to my driveway, all I have to do is spray it down with water to remove the dirt that has attached to the rock and I can put it into my empty rock gardens.

If I bought this at the store it would have been $2.97 per bag! Not sure how much rock it will end up being but more than one bag full. I hope to have enough to finish the side of the garage and the front of the house.

The same coworker who is having the rock removed so she can put in a flower bed gets the newspaper but does not use coupons. She agreed to bring them to me.

Wahoo What a good day.

5.4 pounds down since Friday AM 32.8 to go!!!

April 27th, 2010 at 10:15 am

Okay realistically I dont know if I will get down to 143. I technically need to get to 149 in order to avoid being taped to see if I am under 34% body fat.

2008 July I was about 150-155 pounds and toned (lots of swimming) I would like to be there again. I have until Dec 5th to make this happen. Once this happens I an extending my Job contract for 6 years.

Yep Job security for me and my son for 6 years, So worth a little discomfort now. I have been good and drinking 10-11 glasses of water a day, taking my diet pills and counting calories.

I have desided I am going to bite the bullet and buy more benefiber drink mix (keeps me full) even though I have some raspberry tea flavor at home. The raspberry tea flavor makes me gag. The cost of it as as a diet aid is worth it when you consider it is helping me keep a 50K job a year in a 18K a year average area. Just wish I could find my coupon file since I am sure I had some benefiber coupons in there.

House Update
Door is to be installed tonight. Countertops sometime this week (the counter is at the store with the install team - just need install team to call to set up a time).

Laywer - no news yet.


Three days until payday. Need to balance the checkbook. Bought my son some jeans on clearance that I need to return to the store. They are "Rocker" style AKA basically skinny cut jeans for men. I figured they would not be bad as he normally wears slim jeans. HA the butt looks like he is wearing a diaper and the tightness in the legs/length looks like he should be a host on that show "Q--- eye for the straight guy".

Oh well I am hopeing to get a trip into Once upon a child so I can see if I can get him some bigger jeans. It is hard finding him SALE/Clearance/Used jeans because he needs an adjustable waist (needs a belt because he is super skinny; but cant wear a belt due to medical issues) and he wears slims while Short and HUSKY is the standard wear I live. If he wears nonslim jeans the waist does not get tight enough with the adjustable waist and when he jumps etc the jeans fall down to his shoes.

Have a great day!!

Spending and life Update including 529 Account.

April 26th, 2010 at 10:40 am

On Friday I had that light bulb moment....

Everytime I have successfully lost weight and kept it off for a while I have
#1 took a diet pill
#2 Counted Calories
#3 drank at least 8 glasses of water a day.

Well Friday I went to the store and picked up some SlimQuick. I am liking it so far. I really like how I feel less tired. I was looking through the information and I noticed the appitite supressent is a differnet/additional product. So I went back to the store to pick some up since I have that problem.

Well Wal-Mart did not have it BUT CVS did. CVS had a label on another SlimQuick product that said in small print ALL slimquick Product. The Label/Tag was Buy one get one 50%. So when it did not ring up that way I asked and after a little wait I got my 50% off.

I am down 2.4 pounds since starting the pills and appetite supressent. I am down 3.4 pounds since Friday Morning!!!

The appetite supressent drink mix Tastes NASTY!!! No wonder it is everywhere on EBAY. I have decided to use it once a day only as the pre dinner item because I get SO hungery then I could eat a horse. This means I will have enough for 27 days. Hopefully by then my stomich will shrink and I will not be as hungry. So I will not have to buy more.

I need to buy more of the pills though. I will be checking for coupons and sale prices. I just bought the first bottle on Friday so I have some time before I need to buy more I just want to get it purchused before I run out so I can save $$$.


I have been drinking my 8 glasses of water a day, actually I am at 10-11 so I am in the bathroom like a pregnant lady.


Counting calories...Yep I am doing it. I am eatting the same thing for breakfast everyday, then lunch is soup, then dinner is a meal that changes. By repeating the breakfast, and lunch it makes it easier to do the calories....You just figure it out once and you are good.

Today the countertop people called, so hopefully we should be getting it installed this week. Tomorrow the guy is installing the door upstairs.

This means that all I have to finish on the house is staining the front steps...Oh it snow this morning. So I need to wait now. Got to love the weather.

I want to pick up some rocks for around the house. It will depend on how long it takes to sell the house but I would like to atleast pick up enough for the front of the house and the side by the garage.

My STBX is freaking out about the house not selling. Now he has forgotten that the Realtor said most houses are selling in 80 days and instead has in his head that she promised before the end of April (she said she hoped the Tax credit might prompt an FAST sell).

We have a Open House last night and 10 couples came to see the house. I bought my son new shoes since the seams at the toes of his other were torn. $25 total after tax, I could have gotten cheaper if I would have went to the mall or Wal-MArt but he Loved these since they are like his Daddy's.

No news on the Divorce Front...Well Actually last Thursday I sent back the form that says I agree to the fees. So hopefully that will be done soon. My STBX is running up his Credit Card...He is charging Alcohol and tabacco and getting cash advances to buy those things. He is spending an average of $20 a day. I should just not worry about it BUT part of me worries that at the last minute I am going to have to deal with it.

Today the disk drive on his laptop is stuck. He has two desktops, one that works and one that needs repairs. So his answer to the laptop is he plans to go to Wal-MArt and buy a new one with his credit card and throw the old (1.5 years old - desert conditions) across the room.

Whatever.......I really need to not worry about his issues BUT I am playing the What if game. What IF he doesn't sign the papers and wants me to pay off half his credit card bill. (In his Name Only and Charging Nothing of value.)
I stopped putting money into the 529 account for me son. I then changed the deposit allication for new deposits. WHY because once we sell the house and deposit the sales from the house It will be invested as a seperate investment fund, that way the money from US is seperate from MY $. Once the House $ is deposited I will then change the allication back to the prior funds and I will put new MY $ deposits into the other fund.

That way IF something happens and I need to use MY money for Me for College it is seperate from the Joint $ for Little Boy. I have also desided for the time being that I am not going to put anymore money into the college fund. I have a option that might open up in the future to finish funding it so for now I will use the money for other goals.

Running Budget Numbers AGAIN! Budget Questions

April 21st, 2010 at 01:17 pm

Here is my Zero Based Budget:

Expenses: Monthly
Mortgage / Rent $1,060.00
MDU $126.50
Water/Waste $56.90
Cell $96.16
Internet $38.11
House Downpayment$0.00
Storage Unit $55.00
Phone $29.17

Dental Premium $12.69
Dependent Meds $15.00
Braces Fund $150.00 (Savings)
Dental Work Bills$25.00 (Slush)

Daycare $165.00
Weekend Sitter $100.00
Summer Daycare $175.00 (Slush)

Lumina Gas $50.00
Insurance $33.16 (Slush)
Tags $17.00 (Slush)
Lumina Repairs/Replace $100.00 (Savings)

School lunch $37.50
School Snack $6.66
Clothes $20.00
Gifts- Xmas/Bday$50.00 (Slush)
College 529 Fund$20.00 (Savings)
Back 2 School Items$45.00 (Slush)
Allowance $8.00

Food/Cleaner/Etc $200.00
Gifts- Xmas/Bday/Wedding$10.00 (Slush)
Roth IRA $416.66 (Savings)

Total $3,118.51 SHORT 664.53

Work $2,453.98
Child Support ???

Slush Fund $355.16
Downpayment Fund $0.00
New Car / Car Repairs $100.00
Braces Fund $150.00

I am $664.53 Short to keep up with my finacial goals so changes need to be made. First note I do not know how much I would get for Child Support BUT it will be small as my STBX income is $1195 per month if they do not include the $705 non-taxable income he earns. I want my budget to be based off no child support so if for some reason he cant pay and his amount goes to arrears that I am not in a bad situation.

I am trying to follow a Dave Ramsey type program. I want to create a slush fund for bills that are not monthly such as back to school clothes and supplies, gifts, car insurance and car tags etc.

I would like to save for a downpayment or house purchase in the future and so that is a savings item. I would like to save for College for my Son, I would like to save for Braces for him, I also want to save for retirement.

What do you think?

I know the storage unit HAS to go (And will as soon as the house is SOLD), the grocery/cleaning/etc is a total estimate and I am selling the house and would like to put the difference between my current housing cost and rental cost into savings for a downpayment. I am guessing the difference is going to be $500.

If this was your budget would you?
A. Reduce the savings that is going to the downpayment on a house ($500)
B. Reduce/Stop the saving for Son's College ($20)
C. Reduce Roth IRA savings ($416.66)
D. Combination
E. Other ??

Question 2 I bought my STBX an new phone which I signed a 1 year contract for, I can either
A. Cancel line pay $200 Fine
B. Change plan to a smaller plan and pay extra $10 or $20 (depends on plan) until Dec 2010 and keep the phone plan no cancel fee
*** B is cheaper BUT then I have a second line to deal with. I upgraded both phones at the same time so I cant just take over his number and cancel my number.
WHAT would YOU do?

Ouch this is going to be expensive - DIET!!

April 20th, 2010 at 08:49 am

Okay stepped on the scale....179pounds.

Yes instead of being nice to me the scale is being MEAN!! It was suppose to magically turn to 143 pounds.

I guess all that resterant eatting because we have to leave the house so people can see the house and so that we are not cooking and messing up the house is messing up my waist line.

So Tomorrow is the work BBQ, that is the last day before I go back on my diet.

I am going to hit it hard, I am stopping off at the diet center and buying the detox drugs...Yep that is between $75 and $90 for a month. Then I plan on stopping at the grocery store and buying some fruit since I already have the meal replacement shakes (I want to add juice and fruit for flavor).

I have two bottles of the meal replacement already(one for at work and one for home) they are 15 meals per bottle, you are suppose to replace 2 meals with the shakes and then eat sensible the third meal. So a bottle is 2 weeks. Well I need to stop eatting all together. I need to totally stop the garbage that I am putting in my body so I will be doing three shakes a day with the added fruit and fruit/vegtables as snacks to get to my needed calories and then hopefully after my cravings end and stomich shrinks in size (full faster) I can stop the meal replacement and go back to cooking meals.

One thing I do know is if I stay out of the kitchen I eat less so the quickness of the meal replacement might be worth the money.

Hard Work, Free DoorBell, Being a Kid

April 19th, 2010 at 07:13 am

This weekend I worked my tail off on Friday. Of course I still need to seal the wood of the front porch.

I might do that tonight. I needed to let the wood dry out after washing it (twice) and sanding it. Yesterday I noticed dirty shoe prints on the deck after the wash job so I will need to sweep/sand those off (no water) then seal the deck.

I think the reason the stain/seal was not lasting was in years past I was rushing the stain/seal after the cleaning off of the old product and the first year I think the problem was we did not clean the wood to make sure there was not any kind of product on it.


After cleaning the front porch I painted the trim around the doors; it looks real nice. We went out to buy a new door bell. Once we got home we noticed the holes in the siding from the old bell were spaced farther apart then the new bell. So went to a different store and same deal. Which means we had to go back to the overpriced place that we picked our lights etc out back in Fall 2006. We closed on our house in Feb 2007. Not sure when the light bell got installed so the doorbell is a little over 3 years old. It still works it is just that the button has a hole in it like the plastic just disinigrated. Since it looked terrible we wanted to get it fixed as it is a eye sore upon entering the house.

I went into the store and explained that we closed on our house in Feb 2007 and was wonder what there warrenty was on the door bells. We explained how it seemed like the door bell button just disinigrated. I was not expecting anything but figured I would try. The floor guy went to ask the big boss and said before leaving to ask her that usually it is a year warrenty but he might be able to do a 30% discount. He came back after a while and said that they would give us the replacement FREE but they needed the old bell.

So we drove home took the door bell off and my son and I returned to the store to get the new one. We had a white door bell that actually looked a little cream now BUT they were out even the display model was gone so we ended up with a silver one. Oh well FREE is FREE and I think the bling of the silver adds a nice touch to our front door which feels a little plain at this time. All in all we probubly spent $.50 in gas and got a FREE doorbell. Now I just have to return the door bell we had originally bought at a hardware store. Regular price of door bell $19.97 @ overpriced lighting store which we got for free because we asked about a warrenty.

This Saturday we had one showing. I think the STBX is getting nervous as time goes on because I think he is secretly wishing that it will sell in April because then he can move out of state faster. The school he wants to attend keeps asking if he wants to start sooner because they have openings. He told me they say it is easier to get a earlier date and not a later date so he is locked into August BUT if we sell the house earlier he could move earlier. STBX promised to watch DS this summer but I have a feeling I am going to be putting him into daycare this summer. I cant really blame him for wanting to start early after all if he does then he does not have to get an apartment here if we sell before August. It just sucks because as usual I am the one having to scrabble to make everything work.

Today we have two showings.

I guess I do not have a preferance when it comes to selling the house. When we sell I will move into an apartment and my housing expenses will go down by about $600 per month. When we sell STBX will move out of state and depending on when that happens then come summer I will need to pay for fulltime summer daycare $500+ per month which is a $335 increase since right now my afternoon care cost is $165. Also once he moves our electric will go down because he runs his computer and all his electronics 24/7 and even forgets to turn off the TV.

I think my food costs will go down also since while he was gone we averaged $50 a week including resterants and now we are averaging $150 in groceries alone.

So if you do the math it is still cheaper and the stress of everything will be less, I just wish that my little boy could have a fun free carefree summer. I think I am going to be enrolling him in the summer school program 8am-12noon (FREE) then figure out a afterschool program for the rest of the day. It is three weeks a month for June and July so I could actaully take vacation the other week. Then I think I could enroll him in the all day August program at the place he goes to now afterschool.

This just makes me a little sad as I really just wanted my little boy to get a summer of going to bed late, sleeping in late, riding his bike, playing with kids and not having to be stuck in a classroom from 8am-noon.

I need to start clearing out the storage unit, since we have desided what STBX wants as his property. Maybe I can talk to my grandmother about a rummage sale in May. I wonder if there is time for a small one this Weekend at her house since we have the open house this weekend.

Projected Weekend Spending

April 16th, 2010 at 09:33 am

This weekend I plan on tackling some to do items.

I was thinking I needed to get out more, well I meant with people as I have been a little hermit like in my attempt to limit daycare costs since my son was born over 6 years ago. But this weekend I will get out more it is just going to be outside the house instead of indoor to do items.

My To Do List

Post Signs on the Counter and door opening saying that they will be professionally installed by the 25th if not earlier. - No cost signs are Done just need to be hung

Remove the stain from the Front porch - Already have product (Might have to buy a scrub brush and gloves $5) (DONE - NO COST)
Clean the frames of the exterior doors - Have Scraper and sander. (DONE - NO COST)
Clear Coat the front porch - Have product (Might have to buy a paint brush $5)
Prime Entry Doors - Have Product (Might Have to buy a Brush $5)(skipped - NO COST)
Paint Entry Doors - Have Product (Might Have to buy a brush $5)(DONE - NO COST)
BUY and install new Door Bell Button - (DONE - NO COST)
Hang Hose Reel (DONE - NO COST)
Rake Yard
Buy Rocks for Rock Boarder - $2.99 plus per bag
Grass Seed on Sprinkler Lines/overseed - $35 per bag
Bend Metal Stakes to hold edging
Caulk Windows - Have Product
Spray/Wash Driveway - Have Product (Might have to buy a Brush $5)(DONE - NO COST)
Stack Bricks holding down edging to Garage

The Big expenses will be the Rocks at $2.99 a bag and the huge bag of grass seed that is $35 and possibly the door bell button.

I wish I could plant some flowers/plants to increase curb appeal BUT the risk of frost is here until the 20th of May so need to hold off even though I really wish I could add some color.

****I update the list with the done items, NO cost at all but not everything got done. Just felt relaxing on Sat & Sun.

I am Normal - I think?

April 15th, 2010 at 02:31 pm

So today I am sort of sad, I keep finding myself tearing up.

Should be Super happy, got through the divorce paperwork talk and now all that is left is for the lawyer to actual type it up and send it to us to sign.

STBX still agreed to watch our son this Summer. I can soon start on plans for my future and putting myself on my priority list instead of STBX as a priority. I should be extremely happy, right?

Should be happy, but instead I have tears filling my eyes. I am actually thinking of seeing a counseler to get past this faster. This will have a cost But money well spent as I cant be all weepy at work that would be wrong.

I am sure this is normal, Right? Everyone has hopes and dreams of happily ever after. And at that point when it is all done and it is over and you know without a fact that aliens are not going to abduct your husband and change him into prince charming and a wonderful father for your child, you grieve.

I grieve about the fact that I had dreams, dreams of happily ever after, dreams from promises made to me and I now cope with the fact it is not going to happen and that I have as of this morning closed the door and walked away knowing that that is not going to happen at least not with STBX.

Atleast that is what I think. So I think I am normal if not oops is it a crime to be abnormal?

On a finacial note, today was payday, need to send a check to school for my little guys school lunch. Paid my credit card bill. The new mattress, the Walmart purchases for bedding and window coverings for the basement bedroom and the Lawyer charge are sitting in a pending status on my credit card. Hopefully Saturday we will have the door for the hallway installed thinking it is $25 or $50.

I need to go to the used bookstore and get some more books. Bring two in and get one for $.75. I like reading and since I spend time waiting to pickup my son from his afterschool daycare it would be nice to have something to read so it is time spent happy. Seems everytime I get books from the library I end up being sent out of town for work, not in the mood for that right now.

Emergency FUND

April 15th, 2010 at 10:40 am

Well I had question marks next the the Emergency Fund instead of amounts because I did not know what to put there.

If we cant sell and we need to pay for the house then it is $2360.00 a month. If we sell and we rent an apartment it will be less.

I have desided to list the emergency fund as if I will pay for the house payment and then if it sells I will redo the amounts to match my NEW expenses.

3MTH is 7,080.
6MTH is 14,160
9MTH is 21,240
12MTH is 28,320

*** Today is payday, I NEED to balance my checkbook and see what I have to as a ballpark for EF. It will just be a ballpark since until the divorce is final the STBX could turn around and say he wants more.

****** Got a email back from the lawyer and it said that she wanted me to know that unforquently she is super busy with court cases this week she is not going to be able to get to my paperwork until next week. Hurry Up and wait (I am used to this so no biggy). So now I will sit here and wonder if the paperwork gets done next week and mailed out and signed and returned how long is the process from then on? I should have probubly just got some guts and sat down with the STBX last week but I think it would have been a bit much for both me and STBX.

Emailed the information and paid part of the bill

April 15th, 2010 at 09:52 am

Yesterday I sat down with STBX and we went over the list of marital assests that I made.

Also we answered the questions on the parenting plan guidance, at least I hope we answered them well enough.

He agreed to still watch our son this summer. I offered to pay him, which he turned down. He asked when I wanted him to move out, to which I brought up him just moving into the basement.

So yesterday we bought a new mattress and box spring for our son. We set it up on a frame and put it in the basement, it is what STBX will sleep on until he moves out of state for school or we sell the house which ever comes sooner. Once the house sells we will discard the 15-17 yearold mattress that is on my sons bed and he will get the new one. Until then we will keep the extra furnature to fill up the house.

The bed in the extra room makes the house more inviting instead of an empty room it is now a room with furnature to see what size it is.

The good thing about him in the basement is that it means our son will be able to just be a kid this summer with no real bed time and waking up when he wants to. Also he can continue to drop our son off at school.

I am thinking if we still have not sold the house when our divorce is final I might go buy the couch and automan I want for my new apartment and put it upstairs in the livingroom to help fill out the house better.

Since we completed the papers we have been getting along real well. When he raises his voice about something I dont take it personal anymore. I remind myself there are a few benefits to putting up with it.

He has also been better, instead of yelling every hour or so about something minor he is maybe yelling once or twice a day.

Yesterday we even went out for lunch and he paid. It was nice. For once I was just living life instead of hating him because I was allowing him to treat me badly and thinking I had no way out.


This morning I re did the marital list so that it was grouped into things like accounts, then the house, then into his and then mine. I hope this makes it easier to understand.

I then called the laywers office and got the info to email the lawyer and paid the first part so they can do up the paperwork.

I asked how long it normally takes, did not get a real answer. If nothing needs to be changed and all parties still agree it goes rather quickly. WHAT is Quickly?

Today the 15th of April I submitted the information to the lawyer with a partial payment, lets see what quickly is....

Taking tomorrow off!

April 13th, 2010 at 11:19 am

Tomorrow I am planning on breaking out the paperwork.

I will be sitting down with STBX and completeing the Marital Assets list and the parenting plan.

At least I hope it gets done, hopefully STBX is not too much in shock that I actually am taking the bull by the horns and going through with a DIVORCE.

I am a little nervous, hope it all goes well.

I need to get my little guy a hair cut. The last hair cut was right before STBX came home the 29th of January. He has needed one for a while but STBX keeps saying he will take little guy in for a haircut when he gets one. I think he MIGHT be getting a haircut for work two weeks from now but maybe not. I am tired of waiting so I will take little guy in for a hair cut after work tonight.

Truthfully STBX hair is really short as he buzzed it right before coming home in January so he could probubly just take the trimmer to the back of his neck and right around his ears and be good (Little guy- no way).

Got an Email from an old friend, guess he is getting out of the Army in like 4 months. He has a Medical Review Board coming up. It is too bad as he only has 9 or 10 years based on his enlistment date and not all of those are Active as he was in the Reserves for a while; so he is short of the 15 needed for a Early Medical Retirement. Hopefully since it is service related he will at least get VA disability payments. I would have liked to hear more and cheer him on but his wife is TOTALLY PSYCHO so I will probubly not hear from him again.

Hopefully the weather will be nice tomorrow after I am done with the paperwork, I hope to get outside and rake the lawn. It is still early so I dont want to turn on the sprinkler system, but I sure wish our grass was greener to help sell the house faster.

Crazy Busy!!

April 12th, 2010 at 01:09 pm

Today is crazy, it is one disaster after another. I am finally taking a break (for long enough to write).

Last night we had a showing, my STBX said we would grill brats for dinner. I was hungry before I got home, so once I got home I raided the leftovers to tide me over until the LITE dinner of brats.

My STBX waits until he has only enough time for him to cook the brats and for us to hit the door eatting on the run. Well guess what we are out of gas. We have two tanks so he must have used a ton of gas the two weeks he was home last summer. He through a hissy fit about it.

I cant wait to be away from his drama.


While we were killing time during the showing we ordered the countertops for the kitchen, of course STBX askes "didnt you/we do this already" The measurements where only taken Monday when have I had any time I think to myself?


Today is his first day back at work (part time 5p-9p) after not working since Jan 29th. He is going to be difficult to deal with after he gets off work tonight.


Today he called and well he complained about the realtor again. He is so totally out of reality. He is upset because he does not think I under stand his complaints. Which I do not understand them. We are with one realtor who works at a company. Well most of our viewings are from a different reality company, so he thinks all our realtor did was put the house for listing on five different websites and a TV Show and that she is doing nothing.

He thinks we should have a ton of our company realtors pushing the house. ?????

I am finally said okay I hear you but I disagree. "Back in 2005 we were looking at houses in the 110K-115K range". "The realtor took us to houses in the 110K-115K range, maybe the other realtors do not have clients that are looking at houses that are in the 214,900 price range. Why if the client is looking for 150K would the realtor bring them to our house?" Of course then it made sense, but sometimes I really wonder why it is so hard to him to grasp how things work.

Also I told him we need to call the realtor with the names of who came to see the house so she can follow up with the realtor and he says why should we "she isn't doing anything"

The point of the follow up is so we can get a report of how the visit went and if there where any questions the visiting realtor has they can be answered by our realtor of course I have already explained this to him BUT he must have playing Magic the Gathering or XBOX 360 or playing on his computer when I told him this the first time because of course he was irrate when I asked if he had written the time and date on the back of the cards of the realtor cards that came during the day.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, so ready for the drama to be over.

Not Showing the house on purpose today!

April 10th, 2010 at 07:38 am

Okay I should clearify, we are not going to be showing the house after 4pm today. So far I dont think we had any calls for showing today BUT yesterday my DH was whining and moaning about not being able to grill (he like to use a smoker) so it is an long process. We cant start the smoker going and then just leave a live fire if someone wants to see the house.

Basically if we dont show it after 4pm he could maybe BBQ that evening. I am thinking IF he wants to sell the house as quickly and as badly as he does than he should be willing to give up grilling IF need be but whatever.

But I said OKAY, why because yesterday I put in a 14 hour day working until 10pm, returned today to start work at 7am and will need to work sunday at 7am. So tonight when I get off work around 4pm I want to go curl up in bed and sleep. No showings after 4pm means I can go home and catchup on sleep.

Next weekend neither of us work so if people want to see the house; no big deal. The following week we have to go out of town for the weekend, so people can see the house. The following weekend is another busy work weekend for me....I think this will be a no show after 4pm Sat & Sun so I can sleep and DH can grill.

If DH was not such a whinner I would say chill over the grilling thing and show the house (I could visit my grandmothers house and sleep there).

Technically the house has only been listed since Wednesday but I was ready for it to be sold months ago. I hope it sells fast!!!

I need to stop!!!

April 8th, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I dont know why I do it but I find myself running numbers over and over.

Today it what I would have in retirement IF I kept up my level of retirement savings until 2024 or age 48. At age 48 I would need a job change and so my saving would decrease. I figured if I STOPPED at age 48 with no cost of living adjustments and no interest accrueing after that age; at age 65 I would be living off of 53K per year. That is IF everything goes as planned.

Also this is factoring a 10% gains per year until age 48. But this is also figuring no savings at all after age 48 and no gains after age 48.

My retirement plan also includes a paid in full home by age 65. Now I have 14 years until that age magic age 48 number. I would really like to have money saved up so I could buy a paid in full home at the age of 48. Then I would only need to work partime the 17 years until I reach age 65, if I had no mortgage payment at the age of 48 then I would only need spending money. See I would have enough to pay my bills without the mortgage but no extra for fun, so my working would be to bring in FUN money!

On the other hand if I started drawing out my Roth IRA principle money I could maybe retire at 48. Because if I have a paid in full house why would I need 53K a year from age 65-90? Right now we are living off of 28,331 a year IF you subtract my husbands child support payments; and that includes 12,660 being mortgage, taxes, and insurance for house.

Okay time to get out of my Dream World.

Going to look into Weight Loss Surgery

April 8th, 2010 at 09:55 am

After reading a post another blogger said about Tricare paying for liposuction, I did a little research.

Generally in most cases tricare will deny the surgery BUT not always. So I am desided to put that on my to do list! I want to see IF they will pay for it. If not then I will pay for it myself.

I make 50,312.04 per year and basically when I do my taxes I get all my money back so my net take home is VERY good for my area. Average Salery here 15K-18K.

I need to get down to 34% and stay there, in the past I have paid 3K+ to join a weight loss center and I did lose the weight but after I got tired of popping all the pills and monthly detoxafing fasts the weight came back. The weight was off for a year (while husband was out of state for work- but when he got back the weight came back). I was popping 24 fiber pills, a multivitamin, 3 evening primrose oil pills, 2 calcium, 2 cleanse, 2 detox, 6 appitite supressors, and 3 cell-u-rid. I just cant do it, tooooo many pills.

I want to get lipo to my inner thighs, my tummy, and outer thighs. This is where my weight problems are. Even when I was at 143 pounds and skinny I still had fat on my upper inner thighs I did not like. If I get lipo to these areas I can pass the tape test. My waist is fine (averages between 26-29 inches), so need to tackle the lower half which exercise does not always target one area.

I am not sure how much it will cost BUT if it means I pass tape and can extend for 6 more years that is 201,248.16+ in income over the 6 year contrat I would have gotten because I got it done!!

Tuesday seems to be a good day for me, maybe I should plan it for Tuesday!

Running Numbers

April 8th, 2010 at 06:46 am

I am running numbers, and my husbands take home should be $672.20 per month after taxes and taking out Child Support for his two other children. This seems low BUT that is 8K a year so more than poverty level. (It will go up by close to 3K per month once certain non-taxable income start kicking in).

I am not sure how to have the lawyer address the housing situation. YES I want stop living with him ASAP but until we sell the house technically it is half his. It would be much easier if he would just move and answer one of those roomate wanted ads or get an effecentcy appartment which in our area are $240-$365 per month. But I am not sure what he will want to do, who knows it could take months for it to be finalized and then renting for one month is silly (unless we have the house already sold).

Also Part of the $ above is money I will be paying him this summer to watch our child (since he will only be working 5p-9p Mon-Fri. It would be easier to continue the daycare situation if we are sharing the house because then our son could sleep in and just be a kid (until the house sells).

I plan on sitting down with him this coming Tuesday. I am going to say we need to come up with an agreement since he is moving out of state in August for school. Even though we have been functioning like roommates for years, it will still be a surprize I think.

House Update, Martial Assets, and Job Update

April 7th, 2010 at 11:51 am

The realtors came in groups yesterday to walk through our house. Atleast 15 realtors came. Last night we got a call from one asking if she could show it to a client so off we went to McDonalds for dinner and so Little Guy could play while we waited for the call back that they were done.

Basically the couple was close to closing on another property BUT the realtor wanted to show them our house first. The realtor called back and said their only complant was that we have all lammenent flooring and they would like wall to wall carpet. Oh well it was only day one, plus we did all lamentant for us (allergies), we do have carpet on the stairs. The carpet on the stairs was new when we closed on the purchase in Feb 2007. Man does it need to be shampooed or replaced. If we would have done carpet it would all have to be replaced before listing so it was money well spent.
Marital Assets, the lawyer gave we a packet and part of that is the division of the marital assets. So today I worked on the list. I was only going to list the big items BUT I desided to list as much as I could think of. I think once we start putting names next to stuff and my husband sees all the stuff with his name on it he might be more reasonable.

Yes I even listed his JRR Tolken Book Collection, Stephen King Collection, Magic the gathering Cards, XBox360 and his riffs role playing books. I would not want them BUT they do have martial value.


My husband got his job back, he starts Monday the 12th. He works 5pm-9pm Mon-Fri. So that is good news because he will be bringing in gross $800 per month and because he will have more money to live off of.

Today I closed the joint checking account, so that is done. The only joint things we have left are the house, truck and his car.

How to bring up the subject...I want a divorce

April 6th, 2010 at 01:53 pm

Well met with the lawyer today. I guess I was suppose to complete the marital property worksheet and parenting plan with my STBX before this meeting. I completed it but it was suppose to be a agreed on division not a here is my idea lets counter.

So I need to sit down bring up the topic and find out what he wants to do with the marital property and custody then return it to the lawyer with a $500 payment then they will complete the paperwork and STBX signs and then I pay the last $500 and they file.

I am so tired of his rages! Okay now that the house is on the market he is happy. So do I make him upset by bringing it up now or wait a few days. But I know he needs to be in a good mood or it will not go well.

I guess I will take the papers home with me and if a opportunity presents itself I will bring them out.

On a positive note he got his job back so he is now earning $1169 pre tax 935.20 take home per month so after child support his net available for fun/bills is 256.20.

I think I will suggest he live in the house rent free until the house sells or his disability payments start. Once the house sells or his disability payments start he will have the money to rent an apartment or can start paying part of the household bills. I think this is fair IF he still agrees to the 60/40 split of the house profits.

Man Why do I try to rescue over and over!!!???

A little of this and that!

April 6th, 2010 at 07:30 am

Last night was a night of doing alot of little things. Today is the realtors walk through and pictures. The house is as clean as it is going to get for the time being.

I spent 61 hours cleaning over the last four days and I am burnt out. I still have some things I want to do but I have to stop. I need to relax and recharge and just focus on getting up earlier each morning so I can touch up all the rooms before I leave for work. The only area left that I would consider a disaster is the garage; everything else is clean I just would like to get it more organized as the month progresses.

I have to work this weekend but I have next weekend off and will work on it then. As far as until that weekend my misson is to just keep the clutter from forming.

Last night I through all my clean clothes into bags and put them in my car, which is currently at work. Yep my solution to the laundry I did not have time to fold and put away was to put it in my car (sort of a mobile suitcase).

Wish me luck, hopeing to sell before April 31st - That would give the buyer the tax credit. And that would give us a very quick sell.
Today I go to see the lawyer, I am as ready as I am going to be. I wonder if she is going to advise me to wait until the STBX has the job situation ironed out and the house is sold?

No Job!!

April 5th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Yep, my STBX is in an uproar. He came in to ask for his job back and they said they did not need anyone. My STBX thinks he should have reemployment rights but I dont think he should. The reason I do not think he should is I think he was a temporary part time employee (that just was kept long term). He has been employed for roughly 2 years BUT he was never rehired as a permanant employee.

So he is waiting to hear back from a person with employee rights. I would have loved it if he could have gotten his job back today so I could report it a closed case to my lawyer BUT the good side is IF he does not have reemployment rights and is not hired back I do not have to deal with him at work.

He worked part-time after my shift was over as a part-time maintenance employee. So if he came to the work location early (because he wanted to BS with the other maintenance staff) I would see him. And truthfully I as sick of his drama, so maybe it is a blessing from above that he might not get his job back.

Like I said I dont believe he has remployment rights because he was only a temp employee, also he told the employee rights secretary he was like the second highest employee for seniority. NO way maybe fourth; but that is out of seven employees but that is if he had any seniority over the others he was working the evening shift with.

Oh well, if he has no reemployment rights he can apply for unemployment. (He has been looking for work; he went to job service, he went to a job fair, and he has applied for work at a old employers working retail). So unemployment until he can get a job would help alot.

Tuesday April 6th is a BIG day!!!

April 5th, 2010 at 10:18 am

We signed our realtor and so I have been cleaning the house since Thursday Night, I have been putting in 12-14 hours a day cleaning.

Tuesday the realtor will be stopping by with the big sign for the front yard, the lock box for the key, and to take pictures for publication and of course to have the first realtor tours!!!!

Our list price is 214,900. She said 210-220 is where we should be and asked if we had a favorite/lucky number and well the 14th is the day my son was born. so 214,900 it is. My husband was fine with it I guess me quoting 205K, 209K, 199K for weeks as things came up (new tax value, rebuild insurance amount, magazine guess) that he realized 259K was a bit high and even 205K brings in a nice profit.

I need to sweep out the garage and spray the winter sand out of it. I need to move the truck to the street so that the garage looks BIGGER! I also need to reclean the kitchen and touch up the bathrooms. I have a ton laundry to fold BUT due to time constrants I am going to pack up my clean laundry in garbage bags and fill my car (mobile suitcase).

As I packed up I located all the manuals for the appliances so I have created a 3 ring binder of the manuals in those clear sleeves.


Tuesday while this is going down I have my appointment with the laywer. I have my info packet completed, the tax returns for the last two years, and the most resent pay statement to show year to date earnings. I even started the parenting plan. I cant wait to not be at the receiving end of his rage.


After failing to find other work my husband finally is going to ask for his old job back; today at 12:30. I have my fingers crossed as he has waited a long time. So I should know soon!

$55 per month added to my monthly bills!

April 1st, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Yep today I went and got a storage unit. I want to get as much stuff out of the house as possible before the realtor desides to start taking pictures for listing and for walk throughs.

I figure in this case it is a case of spending money to make money. Once everything is out of the house it is easy to convince my husband we really do not need it. I mean it is in storage we are not using is so it could go into a rummage sale right????

I am super busy until summer so I am thinking that maybe I will have a summer rummage sale; either at my grandmothers, at my cousins or at our house. But truthfully I hope the house is sold by then.

The positive side is now that the storage unit is gotten and I am going to start loading it my STBX is thinking that the projects he wanted to do should get done. WAHHOOO!

I have to give 30 days notice so depending on the situation it will cost me a minimum of $165 (this months, plus 30 days notice and the time between).

On a side note If later when things start rolling with the lawyers; stuff will be in storage so I will not have to worry about getting rid of something that later the STBX claims he cant live without and I am dealing with that.

I know so many people say if you are renting a storage unit to store stuff it is BAD but in my case, I think it is worth it.
#1 A decluttered house will sell faster
#2 I cant get rid of things since I am going through a divorce and if I get rid of anything it could be bad
#3 If stuff is in a storage unit it will make it easier to part with it once I can (see item #2)

Have a great weekend, oh yeah my weekend starts in two hours because I took tomorrow off.

The realtor called; adventures in money management

April 1st, 2010 at 06:32 am

The realtor called back last night. So this means that I cleaned the kitchen. Last night I took a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to the appliances and the fronts of the countertop. I love my Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

The Kitchen is looking GOOD, well as good as it can with needing a new countertop. The guy to come measure the countertop is suppose to call today at the latest to schedule a visit within 5 days of the call. So hopefully we can give the realtor a ballpark on when the countertop will be done.

The rest of the house is a MESS, so nothing like motivation to get the ball rolling. I have until 11am on Friday to get this house Sparkly CLEAN. I am going to pull an all nighter. It will be done.

I am going to go rent a storage unit on my lunch hour today, hopefully I can get some things moved to the storage unit tonight. I plan to put stuff in, get the house sold quickly; and if once the house is clean I will work the items out of storage into a rummage sale like I planned.


My husbands first deposit into his new account was suppose to go through today, well it is only 8am and he is at the bank being an ass because the money is not there. The teller told him it could be two days before the deposit goes through.

I am thinking it will show up later today or as a pending for tomorrow. Not a big deal for me as I normally pay bills so I know these things happen and you have to learn how direct deposits affect your account before you can get into a rhythem.

My husband is crazed because it is the first and he used to get his allowance and his gas money on the first. He claims he needs gas money but I know he is itching for his FUN money.

I have been trying to let him figure out his problems but rather than deal with it I said "Honey, why dont you use your credit card to buy gas?" "Then tonight or tommorrow when the deposit posts you can go online and pay the charge". Surprizingly his answer was "you can do that?"

Yeah gonna show him the art of paying a credit card online, but once he opens his online account he is going to see his "Concert Money" sitting there in his savings account and hopefully he doesn't burn through it before the concert/college road trip.


Today I need to call the school, I hate how whenever they do any kind of fund raiser it takes FOREVER for a check to clear. We wrote a check on the 17th of March and it still has not cleared. I am going to ask IF they have processed it or if they are holding it until they have all the checks for the yearbooks. If they are holding it I am going to ask to swap out the check. That check is the last check I am waiting on clearing before I can close the joint checking account.

I have desided to close the account and then get the remaining money and then we can use the cash to pay the bills, or we can use our credit card to pay the bill and then deposit the cash into our individual checking account which we will use to pay our individual credit cards.


Asked my husband to see his former employer today about getting his job back, if nothing else until he starts a different job. Murphys law is once you take that first job other offers come in and so that would be win win! Hopefully he will remember today since he has a doctors appointment this morning and the rest of the day free.