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Big Changes, I knew it would happen....

August 2nd, 2011 at 07:03 am

but the timing is atleast good.

So my Ex-Husband who has visitation but hardly ever uses it; was to care for my son while I was deployed. By law he has to be given first shot. In return for him taking care of our son I was going to return the child support he was paying to me since DS would not be in my care and I would pay him the same amount since DS would need things such as food and a few clothing items.

Well EX-Husband finally got his internship and a job locked in. He is sooooo happy, it is the job of a lifetime he says. This job of a lifetime is from 1pm-10pm Tuesday through Saturday. Our son is in school from 8:30am until 3:05pm, which means My Ex will need extensive daycare.

He got an offer by his friend for FREE daycare...The problem is that there youngest is blocked from school at this point for Violent behavior. This weekend my son was to have a spend over there but right before my ex left him there he started crying because this boy had already kicked him in the throat once, and other things.

My Ex realizes that this offer might not work because our son does not like abusive boy. My Ex plans on just leaving our son there all week since he sees no point in picking him up at 10pm. So basically this family would be raising our son.

This family currently has three children 1 girl and 2 boys in the home, maybe four (not sure if the fourth child was returned to them or still in foster care). They live in a 2 bedroom apartment and the mother has a terminal condition.

***
Well I told my Ex that now that we know how much daycare help he is going to need that I am calling my cousin. I said I prefer and know he would prefer for her to care for our son over the other family.

He texted back a simple. Yes.

I know my Ex, so now I have some things to do.

1. Call my Cousin and tell her want is going on
2. Call the Public School Register
3. Register my son in my cousin's school
4. Complete any paperwork to ease care for my son.
A. School
B. Hospital
C. Copy of Temp Guardian Papers and Orders to Cousin
5. Give Payment Check to My Cousin instead of Ex

My Son is going to live with my cousin and my Ex can visit our son when it works into his schedule. I will be giving my cousin a check that is my Ex's CS payment and will match it or more depending on what they think is necessary. I will need to switch my son over from his current school to the school that my cousin's children attend. And then I will need to pack up the clothes and school supplies I purchased for my son while I was gone so they have those items.

I am sad because I once again could not depend on my ex to put his son's best interest first, but I am extremely thankful that I have my cousin to step in.

12 Responses to “Big Changes, I knew it would happen.... ”

  1. Miz Pat Says:

    Amen - You have got it down! Thank God for your cousin.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Yes, your cousin is a wonderful blessing to you and your son. It sounds like a little more prep work on your end, but a much better situation for your son in a difficult situation.

  3. starfishy Says:

    My first thought was the same as Miz Pat - thank god for your cousin! I was feeling ill while reading about the other family and thinking of your son suffering there and in the lame care of your ex while you are serving our country. So glad you found a workable and safe solution.

  4. laura (momcents) Says:


    This sounds like a MUCH BETTER situation for your son - I think stability and a loving environment will be critical/crucial to how he handles you're being deployed. I love it when families help one another out.

  5. CB in the City Says:

    Much, much better. I'm so happy your cousin is there to help.

  6. PatientSaver Says:

    It's too bad your ex could not step up to the plate, but thank god you found out about all this before your deployment. and could make other arrangements.

  7. M E 2 Says:


    I don't quite get how the Ex didn't step up? If he wanted to, he could have taken your son and gone ahead and left him with the abusive boy's family. He realized that wasn't in the best interest of your son and is okay with your cousin. Some men/people WOULD "cut off their nose to spite their face" in this type of instance. Count your blessings. It could have been ALOT worse.

  8. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Sounds like you found the best solution for your son while you are gone. I hope all goes well for all of you. Best wishes to you on your deployment..and that you come home safe!!!

  9. SnoopyCool Says:

    I'm glad to hear that you were able to make other arrangements. Bless you and your family, and thank you for your service to our country.

  10. Petunia 100 Says:

    ME2, really? A parent who will knowingly leave their child in a bad situation is "stepping up to the plate"?
    IMO, if he were stepping up to the plate, the bad situation would not have been considered for a single moment. IMO, if he were stepping up the plate, it wouldn't be Little Ms. Mom's responsibility to handle the school transfer, etc. IMO, if he were stepping up to the plate, he would have made an effort to find a good situation for his son.

    Informing Little Ms. Mom that he intends to let their son live with a family who aren't parenting their own children well and have a violent child who has previously abused Litte Ms. Mom's son, isn't really a solution. It is a method of putting the responsibility back on Little Ms. Mom.

  11. WISEWOMAN Says:

    Petunia......YOU GO GIRL! I agree with you 100% Smile

  12. HelpMeFriend Says:

    Stepping up to the plate doesn't seem like what this guy does anyway.
    "By law, he has to be given first shot" means that he wasn't the best in the first place, let alone his friend with mean kids.
    I have a mean son, who has an emotional disability. He doesn't kick in the throat, but he is getting better at controlling his actions. To have to worry about the well-being of your child when so far away must be miserable, but you stayed strong and kept in cool control the whole while. Proud parent you must be!!

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