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Broken Window = First Fight.

August 1st, 2011 at 10:02 am

On Friday we went to my Grandmothers house to pick up the furnature. After we got there and I showed BF what I wanted to take; we ended up with just the bedroom set.

I was not going to push it because I did not want him to make a second trip (gas $). I would have liked some of the other items, but he was right and we really did not NEED them. Also they would have created clutter. He basically asked me if I was willing to get rid of something at the house in order to put the furnature where I was planning on putting them.

When we got home and were unloading the truck, he looked over and saw that the window was broken. I believe a rock got thrown into the window by the new lawnmower which was set to side discharge instead of mulching or bagging like we normally did. He says that a kid must have thrown a ball throw it.

I don't care if he broke the window with the mower, it would have been an accident. But if some kid was in our yard throwing rocks at our window that is trasspassing and vandilism (crimes).

I found a rock inside the room and the rock was broken like it had been hit by the mower blade, also the rock had grass stains on it. I looked at the mower blade and there is a chunk out of it, also there is a paint chip on the new mower by the deflector.

He saw some of the balls my son had in the playroom, and said the ball must have done it. Because of the size of the hole. Well the problem with that is the window is double pane and the ball does not fit between the gap of the two windows. Meaning the rock hit and the hole became bigger but not big enough for the ball to travel through both holes.

We got in a big fight over the word "Crime". I said it was a crime, if someone throw a ball or rock through the window, and he wanted to argue the fact intent vs accident. I wanted to stop arguing over the use of the word crime and just drop it, but he saying he was in law enforcement for 10 years and that someone throwing a rock or ball through a window isn't a crime.

Anyway...Thinking about it now the best thing would have been for me to just hold my tongue. This is why I am not going to discuss it anymore and he can continue to think my kiddo throw a ball through the window even though a ball will not fit through the two holes in the double pain glass. The hit was at an angle.

(*Edit- I wanted to explain what I mean by hold my tongue. At the point where we both were getting defensive and we were fighting over something stupid (the definition of the word Crime), I should have took a step back and realized this was getting out of hand and no good was coming out of it and I should have just let us both calm down instead of trying to keep adding fuel to the fire. Because at this point it was about who was right and nothing about fixing the window).

I came out of the house and in my frustration of trying to get him to listen to my reasoning, I called him by my Ex-Husbands name. I guess in the many times I have done that he has caught on twice.

I get upset and when I feel like I am not being listened to, I call people by my Ex-Husband's name. It does not matter their gender either...You really get me worked up and that name pops out.

****
So the question is: I keep calling people my Ex-Husbands name when I get really upset. Is there anything I can do about? Please note that my Ex-Husband HAS the same name as my son. I call my son his real name, and I call my ex the more adult version of the name which we switched my Ex to once our son was born so the names were some what different.

My Ex-Husband is a Jerk, he is lazy, so it is really an un-intended insalt to call someone by his name. What can I do to make it better. I feel like even though BF says "this is a new day" he is still acting hurt.

Another problem is I need to pay to get the window fixed, it seems like anything to do with fixing that window just opens up the wound. I have never fixed a window before, It is not the slider so I figure I need to call a window guy to come replace it. He suggested ordering it and then hiring lowes to install it. Why would I have Lowe's install a window I purchased elsewhere.

5 Responses to “Broken Window = First Fight.”

  1. North Georgia Gal Says:

    First...if you are in a relationship where you feel you have to hold your tongue and not say things than you need re evaluate your relationship. You should feel like you can tell your partner everything without repercussions. Second... calling people by your ex's name is normal. I have done the same thing. I was married for 10 years so his name just naturally comes out of my mouth when I am upset.

  2. Petunia 100 Says:

    I agree with North Georgia Gal. It sounds as though he was defensive, wanting to blame your son rather than acknowledge it appears he accidentally did it while mowing the lawn. If your son's ball broke the window, then why was there a chipped rock with grass on it inside the room? If he was in law enforcement for 10 years, then surely he learned a thing or two about looking at the evidence.

  3. LittleMsMom Says:

    Thank you for your replys.

    I edit-ed my post to explain what I mean by hold my tongue. In this fight, until I called him by my ex's name it was about proving who was right and not productive. So I should have kept a cool head and focused on getting it repaired instead of focusing on what caused it.

    I am not sure why he got defensive, it is out of character for him. Maybe it was the way I said I thought it was a rock by the mower (he mows I don't). I did not mean to place the blame on him but maybe my tone came across as such and that caused the start of the unproductive unnecessary fight.

  4. My English Castle Says:

    I'm not sure that holding your tongue is a bad sign. Don't we all have to sometimes? I'd love to call my boss a jerk--and sometimes I think people are idiots (and they probably think the same of me), but I don't say it. Sometimes it's better to choose your battles. About the ex's name--not much you can do. Eventually it just goes away. I remember on our honeymoon I couldn't quite get my head around my DH being my "husband." My ex-husband was still tagged "husband" in my brain. But it fades.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    Tone can be an issue for sure. And we also sometimes just respond without thinking. I'm guessing you didn't realize he would be so defensive. I hope you can recover from the argument. Smile

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