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I am Normal - I think?

April 15th, 2010 at 09:31 pm

So today I am sort of sad, I keep finding myself tearing up.

Should be Super happy, got through the divorce paperwork talk and now all that is left is for the lawyer to actual type it up and send it to us to sign.

STBX still agreed to watch our son this Summer. I can soon start on plans for my future and putting myself on my priority list instead of STBX as a priority. I should be extremely happy, right?

Should be happy, but instead I have tears filling my eyes. I am actually thinking of seeing a counseler to get past this faster. This will have a cost But money well spent as I cant be all weepy at work that would be wrong.

I am sure this is normal, Right? Everyone has hopes and dreams of happily ever after. And at that point when it is all done and it is over and you know without a fact that aliens are not going to abduct your husband and change him into prince charming and a wonderful father for your child, you grieve.

I grieve about the fact that I had dreams, dreams of happily ever after, dreams from promises made to me and I now cope with the fact it is not going to happen and that I have as of this morning closed the door and walked away knowing that that is not going to happen at least not with STBX.

Atleast that is what I think. So I think I am normal if not oops is it a crime to be abnormal?

On a finacial note, today was payday, need to send a check to school for my little guys school lunch. Paid my credit card bill. The new mattress, the Walmart purchases for bedding and window coverings for the basement bedroom and the Lawyer charge are sitting in a pending status on my credit card. Hopefully Saturday we will have the door for the hallway installed thinking it is $25 or $50.

I need to go to the used bookstore and get some more books. Bring two in and get one for $.75. I like reading and since I spend time waiting to pickup my son from his afterschool daycare it would be nice to have something to read so it is time spent happy. Seems everytime I get books from the library I end up being sent out of town for work, not in the mood for that right now.

Posted in About ME! | 5 Comments »

5 Responses to “I am Normal - I think?”

  1. Broken Arrow Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 09:37 pm 1271367446
    1271367446

    Yes, it's is normal to be sad about this. In fact, I would say there is something very wrong with a person who can look at a divorce and be happy about it. How callous that kind of person would have to be to look at a life-long vow and actually be happy that it is now broken and gone. No, it's perfectly normal to be sad.

    However, it's also perfectly normal to feel relieved. I know I was. A very strange mix of emotions.

    In any case, yes, it wouldn't hurt to talk to a counselor at this time. I did. I stuck with one for six months (partially because I thought we were there for marriage counseling, but oh well). It helped me a lot.

    Take care. It's always the darkest before it gets brighter.

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 10:04 pm 1271369068
    1271369068

    I agree. No personal experience, but it makes sense to grieve something that you onced viewed as positive.

  3. Ima saver Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 10:42 pm 1271371358
    1271371358

    Yes, it is very normal. Even tho I wanted the divorce, the whole process made me sad.

  4. Homebody Says:
    April 16th, 2010 at 12:58 am 1271379520
    1271379520

    You are totally normal, hang in there.

  5. LittleMsMom Says:
    April 16th, 2010 at 02:10 pm 1271427019
    1271427019

    Thank You!

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